Abuse and Violence

Where we stand

Violence against women and girls is not bad luck and it is not rare. It is a pattern, and designing around it is our job rather than yours.

Men and boys are abused and assaulted too. They tell somebody less often, and there is less help waiting when they do. Everything below is for you as well.

Nothing here asks you to be more careful. Care is not what stops a person who has decided to hurt you. What follows is what we do about them, and who to call.

What gets somebody removed

Threats of violence, sexual or otherwise, in a message, on a profile or at a Roundup.

Sending a sexual photo to somebody who did not ask for one. In England and Wales that is a criminal offence under the Online Safety Act 2023.

Pressure of any kind: for sex, for photos, for a meeting, or to stay somewhere. Wearing somebody down is not consent.

Sharing an intimate image of somebody, or threatening to. That is a criminal offence across the UK.

Stalking. Repeat contact after being asked to stop, or using a Roundup to work out where somebody will be.

Violence passed off as something that was agreed to, including strangulation. Consent is not a defence to serious harm in law, and it is not one here.

Abuse that happened away from lasso counts. Hurt somebody you met here and you lose your account here.

If you are in danger right now

Call 999.

If you cannot speak safely, call 999 from a mobile, listen, and press 55 when the automated message asks. That puts you through to the police. It does not send them your location, so say what you can once you are connected.

From a landline it works differently and there is no 55. Stay on the line: if the operator can tell something is wrong you are put through anyway, and your address is already on their screen.

If you can speak at all, even a whisper, that is better than silence.

If you feel unsafe in a pub, bar or club, go to the bar and ask for Angela. It is a code word used across the UK: trained staff will help you leave quietly, call you a taxi or call the police, without the other person knowing you asked. Not every venue has trained its staff, so if nothing happens, say plainly that you need help.

If you are a woman or a girl

National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge: 0808 2000 247. Free, 24 hours a day, every day of the year.

Rape Crisis England and Wales: 0808 500 2222. Free, 24 hours a day, and there is a free online chat on their website.

Neither of them will tell you what to do, and neither needs you to have decided anything first.

If you are a man or a boy

Men's Advice Line, run by Respect, for men experiencing domestic abuse: 0808 8010 327. Free, Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm. Trans and non-binary people are welcome.

SurvivorsUK, for men, boys, trans and non-binary people affected by sexual violence: web chat every day from 12pm to 8pm, text or WhatsApp on 0786 003 1252, or phone 0808 801 0332 on weekdays between 10am and 12pm.

Those are shorter hours than the lines above. That is worth saying out loud rather than hiding: if one is shut, try another, and 999 is always open.

If you are LGBT+

Galop, the national helpline for LGBT+ victims and survivors of abuse and violence: 0800 999 5428.

Monday and Tuesday 9.15am to 8pm, Wednesday to Friday 9.15am to 4.30pm, closed between 1pm and 2pm and at weekends.

Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland

The two lines above for women are England and Wales services. These cover everybody, whatever your gender.

Scotland: Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline, 0800 027 1234. Free, 24 hours.

Wales: Live Fear Free, 0808 80 10 800, or text 07860 077333. Free, 24 hours, and Welsh speakers are welcome.

Northern Ireland: Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline, 0808 802 1414. Free, 24 hours, for anybody over 18.

What we do when you tell us

Report them in the app and choose Sexual assault or rape, or Something that happened off lasso. Those go to the front of the queue and a person reads them the same day.

We keep your messages with that person, their profile as it was at the time, and the report itself. We keep it even if they delete their account.

We never tell them who reported them. Where what you describe warrants it, we suspend the account while we look into it.

If the police ask us for that record as part of an investigation, we give it to them.

What we cannot do

We cannot investigate a crime. We are not the police, and we will never tell you not to call them.

We will not ask you what you were wearing, what you had drunk, or why you went.

Contact

Email us: hello@meetonlasso.com